Wednesday, January 9, 2013

glad you weren't here

   Horray!  After months of working 3 jobs, trying to juggle in a bit of time for the sluggy bear, and getting both my and my mother's errands run, I have finally gotten time to sit down and repair my computer  correctly.
  A lot has happened last year. friends met, friends lost.  Divorce finalized. One best friend moving across the country, the other no longer speaking to me. the great cat invasion.  Through most of it, When I had a chance to think, my thoughts would drift to 2 people. two very different, but who impacted my life in very negative ways. My first love, who I ended up with for a very brief, very heart breaking, mentally and sexually abusive 8 month relationship with, and my  " nothing I do will hurt you because we are continents apart" ex husband, who didn't realize leaving me home alone in a state I hated, with nearly no one to talk to, no car, nothing to do but stay in a 5 room house with a cat and clean while he was volunteering to travel the world as  hurting me mentally. Who left me for a girl, with a husband and 2 kids.  wrecked 2 families. it's not forgivable in my mind.   But anyhow...  I am thankful they are no longer physically in my world.  I am trying to exorcise them form my head, wash them out.  But i can't figure out how.....

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