Whether it is because I am a Gemini, Bipolar, a Switch, or just the fact I am female, I have a serious dual nature. Which, at times, fights with itself. Let me tell you, it is not fun with it does either. It leaves me confused a good deal of the time. I rarely know how to act in situations when the two sides of myself start to argue. It has been getting worse lately, and affecting different parts of my life more and more. Mostly, it has been affecting my love life.
I have always dreamed of being June Cleaver. making cupcakes in an apron, heels, and pearls for a husband and loving kids. Yet, I don't want kids. I want the picket fence, dog in the yard, cat in the lap, reading on the couch with the one I love. I know I would be miserable in a month if this was to happen. I want to be taken care of, but I don't want to rely on anyone. I want to be looked at like I am the center of his universe. I don't want to ever be the center of anyone's universe. I want to be a sex symbol. I don't want to be a sex object. But mostly, I want to find someone to love. I don't want to let anyone in.
Lately, there have been two men on my mind. Guess what? Polar opposites. (It could very well be the fact that more than one state separates us that is part of the attraction for them both..who, me, complicated?). One is a very tall, cuddly goofy sweetheart. One is a shorter( still taller than I though), skinny, twisted little thing. Thing is, one I can see hanging out with, watching movies, drinking beer, hanging a good time. the other... well, I want to sit at his feet and call him Master.
You can always make 2 lives like some people do! :) Other than that I don't see you as complicated, I see you as a woman trying to figure what it is she wants in life, and a woman who knows what she wants in a man! :)
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